This has been incredibly hard to write about, and I'm honestly not sure why. I'm going to sally forth despite my insecurities. As Elaine says in Insidious, "Into the Further you go!"
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| We're all smiles here |
I saw Life in a Day not long after it first came out. I think it was around 2012. Without dredging up too many traumatic memories, I was in a very dark place in my life. Life in a Day was hugely therapeutic for me. If you haven't heard of it (you can watch it for free: Life in a Day 2010), it was a project to capture a day in life on Earth by means of crowdsourced footage, curated and compiled by a massive team, including Kevin MacDonald.
Watching it was a bit like being Alice in Wonderland; sometimes I felt bigger and other times I felt smaller. I felt bigger when I saw familiar feelings, expressions, and stories play out across the entire planet. And I felt smaller in a contextual way. Looking across the earth on such a grand scale, my fears and trials just seemed like a natural part of the universe.
When I heard there was going to be a tenth year anniversary edition of Life in a Day, I was pretty stoked. My husband agreed to participate with me, and so we filmed our day on July 25th, 2020. We submitted our footage and then I tried my hardest not to think about it.
Months later I received an email informing us that we had made it - we were in the final cut! I had Jeff proofread the message several times to confirm it wasn't a prank. We got to speak with Jack Arbuthnott, who was extremely kind, and introduced us to several other people involved with the film. In fact, everyone that we have interacted with through this process has been so extremely kind and empathetic. I'd thank them by name, but I'm not exactly sure what people's privacy preferences are, so I've stuck to listing people that are already clearly associated with the film on the internet.
Here's the hard part. This project means an awful lot to me. I think it genuinely has the capacity to help connect us as a species, which I also believe is the only way forward in a world riddled with so many troubles. And I worry a lot about sullying that purpose. I worry about marring the message, I worry that I'm going to speak over people when I should be silent, and I worry that I'm taking up too much space.
I want to help make the world a better place, but I never know the best way to do that. When I am silent, I feel guilty for not using my voice; when I have the opportunity for making my voice heard, I feel guilty for not being silent. How does anyone decide what the right path is?
There's a moment in Star Trek: The Next Generation where Data is trying to predict what his peer, Riker, is going to do in a battle simulation. Data describes various possibilities before Counselor Troi stops him.
10 cool points if you can name that episode
TROI: Wait, wait. You're over-analysing, Data. One cannot deny human nature. What kind of a man is Commander Riker?
DATA: A fighter?
TROI: Yes.
DATA: The weaker his position, the more aggressive will be his posture.
TROI: And he won't give up.
DATA: Then, despite whatever options he is given, he must be--
TROI: The man that he is. Exactly.
DATA: Is that a failing in humans?
TROI: You'll have to decide that for yourself.
I love this interaction so much. I think it shows that, in the end, we can only make the choice that feels right. We can only be who we are. And so, if I ask myself, what kind of person are you, Renea? The answer is "loud and a little weird". And so I will proceed to do my best in the only way I can: the loud and the weird way.
I am grateful to be part of Life in a Day 2020, and I do hope that somebody can be helped by it in the way that I was helped by the first movie. Love you all, and enjoy being the youest you
PS - (and I don't mean be racist if you're racist, that's a bur on your soul rather than your soul itself. Take that dang thing off, it looks ridiculous.)
- Renea
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